Monday, December 16, 2013

Depression

Today I woke up with depression, which is a fitting term since to me it feels like a cavity just behind my breastbone. It also feels like my limbs have been weighted down, almost like gravity has increased in strength.

It's days like this when it takes a serious energy expenditure to do basic life tasks like eating, showering, getting dressed. It's days like this when I am amazed at my favorite bloggers who somehow have such a bottomless well of energy that they manage to post every day.

It's days like this when I am profoundly grateful for my companion, who I can rely on to do nice things for me when I would otherwise be lying in bed with this hollow feeling eating me up.

I've had a lot of days like this, but it's especially craptastic right now because there's a lot of things I want to do - and I'm doing some of them, but I know that this depression is going to suck my motivation into it and I'm not going to get all of it done.

I'm not going to focus on that, though I could make a long list.
Instead I'm going to focus on what I have done.
I have...

  • Gotten up in the morning (11:30 AM! Woo!)
  • Eaten breakfast
  • Started two loads of laundry
  • Folded the towels and PJs that my roommates had left sitting in the dryer
  • Put away dishes from the dishwasher
  • Brought in the trash cans from the curb
  • Taken an armful of recycling out
  • Eaten lunch
Now I can also say I've written a blog post, though not the one I'd wanted to write. Even putting all that down makes my limbs feel a little more loose, as if the extra gravity is releasing its hold.

I am going to go finish up that laundry now, and perhaps when I come back I will get started on one of the other things.

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