Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Wacky cult wants magic biscuit back

A student at UCF wanted to show his interested friend what the Eucharist looked like. So he brings it back to the pew.
A church leader was watching, confronted Cook and tried to recover the sacred bread. Cook said she crossed the line and that's why he brought it home with him."She came up behind me, grabbed my wrist with her right hand, with her left hand grabbed my fingers and was trying to pry them open to get the Eucharist out of my hand," Cook said, adding she wouldn't immediately take her hands off him despite several requests.
...
Regardless of the reason, the Diocese says its main concern is to get the Eucharist back so it can be taken care of properly and with respect. Cook has been keeping the Eucharist stored in a plastic bag since last Sunday."It is hurtful," said Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese. "Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."
Yeeeeahhhh.

As PZ says: IT'S A GODDAMNED CRACKER.

I understand what your dogma teaches. (And yes. It's dogma.) But that little dry tasteless biscuit is not Jesus. If the biscuit were Jesus, and some punk ass kid stole him, I'm sure God would've gotten involved by now, right? (I mean He did insta-kill some folks who didn't give their fair share to the church. Stealing Jesus seems to be a little more severe.)

The cracker is just a cracker. Someone should put some damn pepperoni and cheese on it and eat it. Can we move on now?

Probably not... (Sigh.)

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